I just wonder about many things.. and still hope for too many things. Obama is definitely one of my best bet for this time.

After watched Obama-Cain debate yesterday, I --for the first time in my life-- browse Internet to look for people I knew ... the results were amazing:
one letter from my old best friend, telling me she miss me and asking me where I am now. to this I replied: I am here, missing you, aching to touch you like a thief trembling before the crown he targeted
one page about my love, about places she had been, what she suggested for other traveler wanting to know the easiest-safest-nicest-most decent ways to reach them (oh, I miss her like never before, yet I am grateful for knowing she is alive and well-- I guest so)
thousand possibilities for unexpected meetings
huge basket of spirit to write my book, which is being asked again and again by the editor and publisher, a saga of my journey LOL
hundreds other joyful discoveries, which would have been hurt for me in the past but now I am grateful for knowing it as part of love, betrayal, pain, maturity, sacrifice, longing, desire, and victorious era of me

I am grateful... for having this life, this beautiful life that is going to be even more beautiful soon...

Weird, in autumn I thought only three members of the original Floyd left, and hope there will be another concert like in 2005... well, well, seems it was imposible. While writing this, I'm listening Great gig in the sky and I'm crying, Shine on Rick...

Yes, it's unbelieveable, my childhood hero, unnoticed struggle with cancer, yes, hard to believe Richard Wright had passed away. I regret my decision to avoid internet this weeks. I cannot check alagaesia every second just to see the count down of Brisingr's release time... but, missed the breaking news about this loss... well, it's really a shame of me.

Millions people missed you, and respected your privacy --that's marked you as a real star... uh, bye... Shine on you, Rick...

I always imagine there is a button in this world, which with you can press to undo the pain, or delete the sorrow...

 
don't know...
it's just another time of plaque on my sky
and I'm running, escaping the shadow,
trying to kill my time... instead of myself

I Come From There

I come from there and I have memories
Born as mortals are, I have a mother
And a house with many windows,
I have brothers, friends,
And a prison cell with a cold window.
Mine is the wave, snatched by sea-gulls,
I have my own view,
And an extra blade of grass.
Mine is the moon at the far edge of the words,
And the bounty of birds,
And the immortal olive tree.
I walked this land before the swords
Turned its living body into a laden table.

I come from there. I render the sky unto her mother
When the sky weeps for her mother.
And I weep to make myself known
To a returning cloud.
I learnt all the words worthy of the court of blood
So that I could break the rule.
I learnt all the words and broke them up
To make a single word: Homeland.....

Mahmoud Darwish

My internet connection drives me crazy, such a perfect time for server downtime [sigh] ... just when I feel something about to explode in my chest and I need to look for more information about the subject. It's a deep sorrow, something I couldn't understand, more complicated than my personal pain. I couldn't say a word hearing the Poet passed away two days ago.

Darwish is one of Poets I admire for his dedication and his contribution for his Nation. It's really a huge contribution: he brought unity feeling of a Nation more than ever to the Palestinians, and he stood up not just for his homeland but for defending the rights of people to be free from any degradation, violence, crime against humanity.

I admire him... sometimes reading his poems in late of night, being touched and pray for his (and his people) struggle for his homeland. I cannot write more than this. It's simply the drier world after he's gone. Our world will never be the same. May God embrace his soul, and the world will never forget that this straanger lived as a stranger in his homeland, died as a stranger in a strange land

Can't stand the night, really. "Wish you were here," the disc player had been mourning for hours. Ok, I give you the brilliant lyric of one of Pink Floyd's masterpiece:

"Shine On You Crazy Diamond (I-V)"

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

Cant stand the question: "How's life going?" ... wow, after eleven years, what said you?

Thirty four something, an old lonely man knocked on my virtual door: "Are you there?" Are you there, after this long time, after these whole eleven years?

Didn't know what to say, I just dived deeper into the Net, and find the very page I would loved to read --if it had been published eleven years ago:

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid

I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

ah. ah.